


Don't Blame Me

by Victoria__G



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Explicit Language, F/M, Family, Negan Being Negan (Walking Dead), Protective Rick, Protective Shane Walsh, Protective Siblings, Violence Against Walkers (Walking Dead)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-27 10:54:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30121671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Victoria__G/pseuds/Victoria__G
Summary: Blake Grimes wanted nothing more than to go back to her old life. She longed to have her old job back. She missed her friends. She missed eating chocolate on the couch with an old rom-com on the television. Clearly, life has different plans for her. She never expected the dead to stand and eat the living. She never expected to leave her town for safety. All she can expect is to hold on to what she has.
Relationships: Daryl Dixon/Original Female Character(s), Negan (Walking Dead)/Original Character(s)
Kudos: 1





	1. Ain't No Sunshine

**Author's Note:**

> Olivia Wilde as Blake Grimes

Bright blue eyes looked up at the sky in boredom. The young woman was laying on her back on top of the RV, her arms behind her head. The Georgia heat was not doing anyone a favor. The woman's t-shirt clung onto her due to the sweat that she was producing. She wanted nothing more than for the temperature to drop. She remembered when she would go to Denver with her brother and her parents to visit family. Her first trip there was the first time when she met the snow. It was magical. She missed that world. Today, the world is filled with the undead. Death, blood and violence just seems to surround every turn she takes. She wanted nothing more than to go back to how everything was: her working at the hospital, visiting her brother whenever she could and going out on Friday nights with her friends. She wondered where they were. Were they dead? Did they manage to leave ? Are they safe? So many questions and so little answers. 

"What the hell are you doin', Blake?", she heard her friend ask from below. He had taken the liberty of being the leader of this little group. Who would dare argue with him? He was a former cop, and he is a stubborn son of a bitch. Blake did not mind him taking the lead in the group. No one really seemed qualify to do such. The people here were either too emotional or stupid to take care of countless of people. Shane can at least think things through, although his pride can get in the way at times. 

"Contemplating life", Blake sighed as she sat up to glance down to see Shane looking at her with amusement. He had a lazy smile on his face and his brow was arched, taking in Blake's words. Blake had nothing to do here. She had been given the job to care for others when people are injured. That was due to her being a surgical resident before the world went to shit. She refused to wash clothing with the rest of the women. She is fine cleaning her own clothes, but that is it. She would rather do something more exciting or entertaining than that. By no means was she belittling the other women. Blake is just better at different things that are not cleaning.

"How about you get your ass down and be useful? " he retorted. Blake pressed her lips together as she listened to his words. She knew that he was teasing, but she was just in a mood. That happens when she has nothing to do. Boredom is not something she likes. She was always running around, studying or trying to show off to her attendings that she is amazing. Now, there was none of that. Nonetheless, she began to get down from the top of the RV. Her joints were stiff from not moving for a while. She was just happy that she was going to do something. Shane took a step back as he watched the woman begin climbing down before she jumped down the last few steps. She turned to Shane with an arched eyebrow. 

"How can I be useful?" 

Before Shane could answer, a voice from the radio was heard. 

"𝘏𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘰. 𝘊𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘮𝘺 𝘷𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦? 𝘈𝘯𝘺𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦? 𝘈𝘯𝘺𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘮𝘦, 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘯𝘥. 𝘏𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘰, 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘮𝘺 𝘷𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦?"

Blake's attention shifted to the radio, and she noticed everyone stop what they were doing to listen. A young blonde instantly darted to the radio to reply. Amy fumbled a bit with it before she began speaking into it. 

"Hey. Hello?"

Blake glanced around to see everyone had began to gather around. She saw Dale begin to make his way to the young blonde.

"𝘊𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘮𝘦?" the voice asked again. Charlie sighed at the sound of it. The man in the radio can not hear Amy. 

"Yes, I can hear you. You're coming through. Over" Amy said, excitement in her voice. 

Blake was not going to break the news to them. She leaned her back against the RV and waited for them to figure that out. Shane kept his ear on the conversation, eager to see if they have truly communicated with the mysterious man on the radio. Hearing the man say that he was headed to Atlanta made Shane head over to the group of people around the radio. They soon got the hint that the man in the radio could not hear them. Shane tried to communicate with the mysterious man, but it did not work. Blake was not going to stay there to hear the rest of it. She can assume what will happen next.

Blake pushed herself off the RV, and began to make her way to her tent. She was bored. She would have loved nothing more than to join the group that left to scavenge the city. Blake knew that she could handle being in the city. She is fast, agile and sneaky. Unfortunately, Shane was pretty vocal about joining them. As much as she wanted to argue with him, he had good points. She is the only one with medical training. If someone was to die because she was bored and left, that would be on her. She made a vow to do no harm. Technically, she wouldn't have been to harm the person that is injured, so she thinks it doesn't apply there. No matter, she would be blamed for shit that isn't her fault. Rather than waiting for that to happen, she will just do what is asked of her to avoid any problems. She does not want any more problems than the dead roaming the earth to feed on the living. 

Blake bent down to look through her backpack. It was filled with stuff from her past: some books, a journal, and photograph of herself with her family. She sighed as she saw the picture. It was a last year's Christmas picture. She saw her brother with his family, Lori and Carl, and Shane. He decided to come after he decided to dump his girlfriend. She ran her thumb over her brother's face. She missed him so much. He has been dead for over a month, and she has yet to process it. She just wants to see his dopey smile and hear his voice. 

"Aunt Blake?" She heard a voice from outside her tent. She lifted her head to see Carl with an upset look on his face. She put the picture in her bag and gave her entire attention to her nephew. 

"What's up, little man?" She asked as she took a seat on the ground. 

"Mom got mad and Shane told me to go find you'" he sighed as he walked in to take a seat beside her. 

It didn't take Blake a lot to see what was going one between Lori and Shane. She noticed the longing looks that Shane would throw at Lori, and both of them disappearing at the same time. It didn't bother her at all. She was just astonished that someone would be getting laid during the time that the world is ending. Of course, who is she to judge? She wouldn't mind getting laid, but she has some things more important than that. 

"Well, how about the both of us just stay here until your mom is fine?" Blake suggested as she looked through her bag to get a book. Her eyes stopped upon To Kill a Mockingbird. She loved that book immensely. 

"Here, read this" she said as she handed Carl the book that was in mint condition, surprisingly. 

Carl grimaced at the sight of it. "Reading? I thought that school ended" he whined, but Blake didn't care. She rolled her eyes at his words. She has spent more than a decade of her life in school, and she missed it. 

"You thought wrong. Just read the book and imagine it like a movie in your head" she said as she pulled another book to see The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. She just wants to read. It isn't like there is a lot to do. She is just there to put band-aids on. Blake just wants to escape her reality, like everyone else. The world of walkers isn't her own. Her world consisted of running around, trying to get into the best surgery and working her ass off to be the best. Here, she is just like everyone else, just trying to survive.


	2. Cruel Summer

The Georgia heat did not waver at all. Everyone was sweaty as the sun's rays shined harshly upon the group. It was Blake's turn to keep watch. She sat on the beach chair, on top of the RV. A rifle rested on her lap, as she looked around the area. She was not allowed to leave the quarry, so she might as well do something that is useful: keeping watch. Taking watch is better than nothing. Waiting for the next injured person got boring for the young woman, not like she wished any harm on anyone. She is just used to the constant pressure of working at a hospital. She tried not to miss her old life. That would prevent her from moving on, and she didn't want that. She needed to move on, from everything. She just needed to focus on the now. After all, she is making sure there wasn't any of the dead around the area. How fun is that?

Blake was alright with a gun. Of course, it had been a while since she held one. Nonetheless, she has not forgotten her lessons. Her lovely brother Rick and Shane had taken the time to teach her before she left for college. The Grimes siblings bantered, while Shane simply watched them with amusement, pitching in once in a while. She missed those times. Things didn't depend on life or death. Life was simple. The only things to worry about were about school, guys and looking for summer internships around the country. Now, any decisions depends on whether you would live or die. It sucked. Life sucks. The only thing anyone could do is adapt. That is where Darwinism kicks in: survival of the fittest. The fittest being those that adapt to this hell that is reality, and she is going to survive.

Blake's trail of thought had been interrupted by a car alarm. She furrowed her brows at the sound. Instantly, she shot up from her chair and looked around through the binoculars. She couldn't see anything. The sound was bouncing off the quarry. All she can assume is that an idiot was driving the car, because that sound would do nothing but bring trouble.

Everyone seemed to have shut up at the car sound. The chatter and the light laughs have seized for the moment. All they could do is wait to hear what Blake was seeing. Tension rose as people waited anxiously to know what was going on.

"Talk to me, Blake" Shane said as he stood up from his previous position and began to move to the RV, anticipating to hear what Blake saw. Carl only glanced up to his mother, worried as to what this may be. He was regretting complaining about that haircut earlier. 

" I can't tell yet" Blake replied as she continued to look through the binoculars. She didn't take her eyes away from the scene. All she can do is wait to see who this might be. She could only hope it was the group that was sent to Atlanta. Unwanted visitors will be met in an unpleasant manner. Soon, a red car began to fill her vision. 

"Is it them? Are they back?" Amy asked hopefully. No one replied to the blonde, too worried as to what was happening. Seeing the car clearly, she was able to tell that it was a red Dodge Challenger that was driving mighty fast. Blake could only assume as to whom this was. That just made the brunette laugh a bit. 

"What is it?" Blake heard Amy ask. Lowering the binoculars, the brunette shifted her gaze to the blonde below. With a slight grin on her face, she shrugged. "Looks like a stolen car, a nice one" she commented as she returned her attention to the car that was driving towards them before it came to a stop. Dale and Shane instantly walked towards it, knowing who was behind the wheel already. 

The car alarm sound was louder. It began to hurt a few ears, especially Blake. It didn't help that the car is only a few feet away from her. She grimaced but kept her eye out to see where everyone else was. The alarm drowned out the yelling from Shane and Dale to Glenn. Blake only wanted for that damn alarm to be taken care off. They didn't need any to call any walkers to the area. She remembered that Daryl was still out hunting for food. The last thing she would want is for the hunter to die. Blake likes his blunt and quiet nature. It sucked that he didn't let her join him on the hunt. She would have loved to learn how to track and to hunt. She was good skinning the critters. She just needed something interesting to do.

The blaring sound of the alarm had finally seized, bringing relief to everyone at the camp. Amy kept bombarding Glenn on her sister's whereabouts and well being. It was getting annoying. Glenn didn't have to say much as the sound of a vehicle was heard. A truck soon entered the area, and she assumed that everyone had returned from the run. That was good to see. She wondered what they found on their trip. Atlanta must still have some supplies left, after everything. People just ran. They had to after the military got involved. All that could be heard was gunshots and explosives. Blake wondered what happened to the military. Is there a military? There would have been something by now. It looks like hoping for the world to go back to the way it was is useless. Moving forward is the best way to go.

Blake couldn't help but sigh at the sight before her. The Harrison sister met with an embrace as the rest of the group began to get out of the vehicle. The brunette ignored the pang in her chest as she saw all these people come together again. Her mind couldn't help but trail back to her brother. She misses him so much that it hurts her. She needs a distraction before it finally sets in that he is dead. She glanced at Carl to see that he also felt the same. Lori and him were talking, clearly she was comforting her son. She could not be near them, because she feels like she will breakdown from all the pain. Being numb was better. 

"How'd y'all get out of there anyway?" Shane asked the group. Honestly, Blake did not care. She was just glad that they were back. She rubbed her eyes, pushing away the sense of grief. 

"New guy... he got us out", Glenn replied.

Great, another mouth to feed. Although, more people means more security. If this new guy is as useful as he proved to be, he might be valuable. At the moment, the young woman just wanted to greet her friend. "New guy?" Shane questioned, wondering if a new person in the group is a good idea.

People are dangerous just as they are helpful. 

Without another thought, she began to get down of the RV as she listened to Morales talk, "Yeah, crazy Vato just got into town". Blake turned around to see Morales hugging his wife and his children. "Hey, helicopter boy! Come say hello!", Morales called out to the new guy. Blake simply walked to Glenn with a smile. 

"Hey! Pizza boy! You're fifteen minutes late" she joked with a small laugh as she wrapped an arm around the young man. Glenn simply groaned and shook his head. "You are not funny" he protested with a fake look of disgust. Blake smirked simply, "Really? because I think I am hilarious". Her gaze moved from her friend to the sound of footsteps. Let see who the man of the hour is, she thought to herself as she waited to see the man. 

At the sight of him, she froze. Her entire being just stopped working. Her breath was caught in her throat as she looked at the familiar figure. The smile that was on her face fell, only to be replaced with a look of shock. She just felt weak in the knees. Could this be a dream? She could not help but wonder as she took in the sight of her not-so-dead brother. She did not know how to react to this at all. She was already coping, somewhat, with the thought of him gone. Now, he is back. All the pain just seem to come to the surface. All the rage, grief and sorrow were coming back to the surface like a swirling storm. She couldn't help but tear up. It was beginning to get harder to breathe. She had pushed down the thought of her brother being dead for so long, only for everything to come back to the surface. 

"Hey, you okay?" Glenn asked, noticing that the woman's demeanor had changed. Blake couldn't answer right now, trying to wrap the sight before her around her head. 

"Dad!" Carl cried as he ran as fast as he could to meet his father in a tearful embrace. Rick fell on his knees holding onto Carl, not believing that this is true. He had finally found his family. He sank his head into his son's neck, seeing that this is all real. Shane and Lori were shocked, but for a different reason. It seems that their activities will come to a stop, since the most important man in their life had returned from the land of the dead. Lori also ran to her husband while Shane and Blake let the family hug. 

" That's my brother, Rick" Blake muttered as her mind was working at a million hours per hour. She did not know what to do. She did not know how to process this. He's alive. HE'S alive. This felt like a cruel joke. Was he here only for the world to take her from him, again? Blake felt the tears run down her cheeks, unwillingly. She hated crying, but she could not prevent it. She slowly began to take a few steps towards them. The organ in her chest just began to beat faster. Her heart was pounding against her rib-cage. Her hands had gone clammy out of nervousness. 

Rick lifted his gaze to see his baby sister. The Grimes siblings met their gazes. Blue met blue, and they could read off what they were feeling. He could see the conflict within her eyes, and he could not help but feel guilty. He knew that he was the reason for that. He knows how hard it is for Blake to express herself. He saw how much she struggle in that moment to come to terms with what was taking place. Rick hated that he was the one that was causing this turmoil of emotions within her.

"Come 'ere" Rick said as he watched his sister walk towards him slowly before she began to run towards him. Rick had let go of Lori and Carl, standing in order to catch his sister in a tender embrace. Blake wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer as Rick had his arms around her waist. 

She could finally breathe. Time had froze, and all that she could think of was her brother. He is here. He is alive. Her best friend is back, her confidant, her North Star. 

"You fucking bastard. You're lucky that I won't kick your ass", Blake said, no anger in her tone. Rather, she said it with complete joy. She felt his chest rumble from the laugh that left him. "I missed you, too", Rick said as he sank his head in her neck, savoring this moment. He is back with his family. He has finally found them. Nothing could describe the joy he is feeling right then and there. At last, the Grimes siblings have been reunited.


	3. Sad Beautiful Tragic

Blake and Rick have always been close. Whenever she would sneak out of the house, he would always cover her when their folks asked where she was, and he would pick her up from wherever she was. When her first boyfriend cheated on her, Rick took her out to watch a movie and got her all her favorite snacks. He is her best friend. Her brother knows her better than anyone else. As close as they may be, they are the opposite, and that helps them balance one another out. Blake is the yin to Rick's yang. While she may be impulsive at times, Rick grounds her from doing anything too rash. If Rick is indecisive on some matters, Blake always reminds him of what is important, and to hell what others may think. 

So, when Blake thought that she lost her anchor, she drifted. Unstable is not a word to describe her. She functioned. She knew where her priorities laid: her family. As selfish as it may sound, she did not care about the rest of the group. To her, the whole lot could die in flames and it would not bother her, just as long her family is safe. If Lori knew that, Blake does not doubt that her sister-in-law would call her crazy. Shane would understand. A month without her brother, believing him dead, brought nothing but a heaviness on her chest. She couldn't breath. It was like an anvil was sitting on top of her. All this time, it just kept getting heavier and heavier. As strong as Blake like to show, she was slowly breaking. It was only a matter of time of when she would break completely. Shane could see it in her, the way she was slowly drifting away from reality. He needed to keep her busy from doing that. The man would task her with anything to keep her mind busy, anything that would distract her from what was happening. It would work, at times. She would focus on the task at hand and block out the rest.

Of course, now with Rick's presence, she was finding her footing again. She no longer wandered aimlessly in the dark. Her guide has returned, her north star to guide her in this wicked world. There wasn't anything that could describe the immense joy she felt.

Everyone was gathered by the fire, besides the Peletier's who had their own fire away from the group. The darkness of the night would have been a welcomed had it not been for what roamed in the shadows. What once brought tranquility is now filled with dangers that were not for the faint of heart. The flames of the fire were low, low enough to not bring any unwanted attention from the dead. Blake sat beside her brother. Lori sat on his other side while Carl leaned on his father. The group sat in a circle, hearing Rick tell his story. Everyone was captivated by the story that Rick shared, from wandering the dark, empty halls of the hospital to hitting the streets to find his family. It truly was a story filled with hope. Blake doesn't want to remember how it had been without her brother. She just wants to move forward from all of this. She does not want to remember those darks thoughts that seeped through her mind as the days continued. 

"Mom said you died", Carl's voice brought her back from the present, away from her thoughts. She turned to her brother to see him look down at his kid. Lori seemed hesitate. Blake couldn't help but think as to why. Did she feel guilty for thinking Rick is dead? Or, was she guilty that in less than a month, she began to fuck his best friend? The younger Grimes could only imagine the drama that will follow them. She does not want to imagine Rick's reaction to the news of his wife and best friend going into the woods to play hooky.

"She had ever reason to believe that, don't ever doubt it", Rick stated as he ran his fingers through Carl's hair in a comforting manner. 

Blake shifted her gaze between Lori and Shane, wanting to read how they must be. To her, this was amusing. It is a cynical way to view this, but that is what it is: amusing. Lori looks regretful while Shane was trying to play it cool, trying not to look at his best friend's wife. Nonetheless, both parties looked guilty for what they have done. When shall all of this unfold? That is what she wonders. Blake lowered her gaze to her hands to see her chipped, colored nails. She began to pick at them, taking off whatever remained of the color blue. Blake zoned out when Lori began to talk about how things were when they began. That is the last thing Blake wanted to think about.

She paused her actions when she felt someone lightly shove her. She turned to her brother to see Rick look at her with a small smile. "How about you? Weren't you workin' in Atlanta?" Rick asked as he looked at her. The woman in question let out a short chuckle but no humor to the action. Biting her lip, she recalled the events. 

" Lori called me when you got shot. Me, being the caring sister, I got a week off to check on you and the rest of the lot" Blake said as her gaze shifted to Carl before looking at the other two adults. " The day that I was going to go back to Atlanta, shit hit the fan. No one answered my calls in the city, and I thought you were dead. Quite an awesome day" she remarked sarcastically as she returned her attention to her brother. Rick had a frown on his face at her words. Yeah, things were not good. Everyone went crazy over what was happening. She was not going to tell him in detail what she saw or experienced, not now anyway. He just got back, and there seemed to be a light in his eyes. He was still hopeful about this being resolved, and she was not going to be the one to extinguish it.

The crackle of fire was heard, and the orange glow of the fire beamed brighter. Ed had placed another log into their fire. Blake rolled her eyes at the action. He is going to die. She already knew. He doesn't do shit. He only sits around and criticize everything. She isn't blind. Blake knows what happens once the family is in their tent. She can hear the whimpers and the cries that escape through those thin, cotton walls of their tent. 

"Hey, Ed, you want to rethink that log?" Shane remarked as his gaze hardened, his eyes set on the man a few feet away from him. The man didn't seem to care. He simply sat there in his chair with that stupid look on his face, his regular face. The group seemed interested in what will happen. Shane is not known to let things pass. 

"It's cold, man"

A scoff escaped her lips at those words. "Really? We hadn't noticed" Blake retorted as she lifted her gaze to glare at Ed. A hand was placed on her shoulder, but she did not need to look to see who it was. Rick did not want her to fight off a man that was twice her size. The last thing they need is a fight between her and Ed, and there doesn't seem to be any doubt as to whom would win. Blake can be vicious when she needs to be. 

Shane simply raised a hand to her direction to stop before he continued to talk. T-Dog tried to hold back Shane from going over there, but that didn't help. With a sigh, Blake got comfortable. If a fight is going to start between them, she might as well enjoy the show before patching them up. 

Blake did not know if she was disappointed that there wasn't a fight or relieved. Shane would have been able to kick Ed's ass, no doubt. The man is a cop, or was a cop, so he has some training that can incapacitate a person. Blake sighed as she looked at the family that seemed to be in pain. She felt sympathy for Carol and Sofia. They are innocent. They should not be abused by a man so he could feel powerful. It pissed her off. Shane had to keep her away from the man, because there would be no hesitation to her actions. There had been a handful of times that Shane grabbed her from the arm and dragged her away to prevent any blood shedding. So, it is safe to say that there is bad blood between Ed and Blake. 

" Have you given any thought to Daryl Dixon?" Dale asked, to know one in particular. "He won't be happy to hear his brother was left behind"

Blake sighed at the question. Merle is no one's favorite guy. That is obvious. However, she seemed to have found a way to tolerate him. He was loud and crude, always trying to get in her pants. She always found creative ways to blow him off, and that seemed to amuse the older Dixon. She was not afraid to call him out on his shit. Shane called her stupid for getting involved, for even playing along to Merle's actions. She did not care. She found amusement in it, and so did Merle. So, hearing that he was cuffed to the top of a building in the scorching Georgia heat, it sucked. She would have considered him a friend. Like Dales said, what about Daryl?

The men discussed as to how they should approach this. Rick suggesting that he should be the one to tell Daryl, due to him being the one to cuff the man on the roof. T-Dog saying that it should be him for dropping the key. Blake knew that no matter who told Daryl about Merle, he will be pissed. Like, kill someone pissed. She would be the same if someone did that to Rick. 

"We could just lie" Amy suggested and Blake could not help but scoff at his words. 

"How? That Merle simply got tired of being in a group and went lone wolf? That he abandoned his brother to be alone. Nah, Daryl will not buy that crap" Blake stated bluntly as she glanced at the fire. This will be hard for the man. There is no doubt about it. From she could see, the Dixons are complicated, but that does not mean that they hate each other. They are brothers. "Just tell him the truth. Lying will only make this shit difficult, well more than it already is".

"She's right. We tell him that Merle was out of control. Something had to be done, or he would've gotten us killed" Andrea voiced as she looked at the Grimes sister before her gaze shifted to Lori, who seemed uncomfortable with everything taking place. Her husband had just come back from the dead, and he will most likely face a man that will want him dead. " Your husband did what was necessary. And if Merle got left behind, it is nobody's fault but Merle's"

Dragging her hand down her face, she turned her head to look at her brother. "You know, you could have just knocked him out and dragged him out of that shit hole, or roll him out" she shrugged with a teasing smile on her lips. Rick chuckled lightly at her words. Shaking his head in amusement.

"Wouldn't have been that hard. Could of cuffed his hand behind him and pushed that sonuva bitch out"

"There were stairs"

"What diffference does that make, besides a few bruises?"

"A lot"

"Nah, not like you could have given him anymore brain damage than he already has"

Both siblings smiled at one another at the short banter. It was nice to be able to talk like that. She could joke around and he would join in. It has been awhile since she joked around. Carl seems to be the only one that could be able to do the same with her. Shane would just point out flaws, and Lori is just not the type to do that with. So this is nice.

"Maybe you should be the one to tell him" Glenn said as he watched the interaction between the siblings, a slight smile on his face as well. He was not the only one watching the interaction. It was a sight to see the doctor relaxed, a smile on her face than a bored expression. 

Blake arched a brow at Glenn's words. "Me? " she questioned and the man nodded in return. 

" You know Daryl. The Dixons seem to like you. All of us have seen you talking to them" Glenn said, adding more into his argument. To Blake, the brothers looked interesting. Merle was the more outspoken one, not caring as to whom he offends. Meanwhile, Daryl kept mostly to himself. Both are the opposite. In some ways, it reminded her of her relationship with her brother. He is more open with people, while she hangs back. It is a curious thing.

"No, no way. Blake is not telling Dixon squat" Shane inputted, a stern look on his face. As charming it is that he views Blake as a sister, it does get annoying. Blake clenched her jaw and turned to Shane. 

" Remind me when you were in this conversation" she retorted back with annoyance as she looked at him with irritation. Shane matched her expression, leaning forwards. His arms resting on his knees. Both parties looked at one another with utter annoyance. Blake was annoyed that he spoke for her, and Shane was annoyed that she would be getting involved in something that is not her business. 

"When it is about your safety"

"You think that Daryl will attack me?" she couldn't help but scoff.

"You don't get it do you? You are always so damn-"

"Look" Rick began as he looked between the both of them, stuck in the middle. "I will be the one to tell Dixon. I did this. End of story" he left no room for an argument. Blake pursed her lips, not happy about this at all. She wanted a say in the matter. It is not that the she wanted to do it. She could have said no herself. But, Rick and Shane had to answer for her when she is fully capable of that. Taking a deep breath, she stood up from her place and plastered a faux smile on her face. 

" Since you guys got it settled, I am going to go to sleep. Have a nice night" she stated simply before turning around to go to her tent. The anger bubbling in her stomach at each step she took. Her fingers sinking deeply into the palm of her hand as she walked away from the group. She could hear a pair of footsteps behind her. 

"Blake"

She turned around to see Glenn, a guilty expression on his face. He fiddled with his hands, glancing between her and his hands. He let them drop to his sides before he began to speak to her. 

" I am sorry. I should have kept my mouth shut. I just thought that since you know Daryl and have spoked to him that you would be-" Glenn rambled, taking a few steps towards her. She shook her head and spoke, interrupting him. 

" I get it, no need to apologize. I am fine. Don't worry your little head over this" She smiled slightly as she looked at him. Glenn let out a sigh of relief, a small smile on his face as well. It seems that her words have been able to relax him. 

"Alright, cool. I-uh...good night then" he said a bit awkwardly with a nod before he decided to call it a night. 

She did not expect her day to end like this.


	4. This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

Life has slowly gotten better. 

There was this lightness in Blake's chest. She no longer felt the anvil-like weight sitting on her chest. She could finally breathe. The world seemed a bit brighter, and there finally seems to be a purpose. 

Like usual, Blake woke up at the crack of dawn. The sky was lit up in hues of orange and pink. There were very few clouds in the sky. It was a pretty sight. She took a moment to take in the view. She was recalling everything that has taken place in the last month, or so. The dead had risen to eat the living. A disease is what had made all this happen. People die and come back. The disease is transmitted by bites, blood and scratches -- from what she has observed. If it is a virus, then there cannot be a cure. A vaccine could only prevent the virus from taking place. So, those that are infected cannot get better. She wishes she knew more about the disease. Unfortunately, she doesn't have the equipment to even study it. She cannot do anything about it, other than not get infected. 

"Mornin' ", someone drawled.

Blake glanced to her side to see Shane walking towards her. He was on watch last night. That was evident from the tiredness that appeared on his face. In a few minutes, Dale will get up to take watch. She wrapped her arms around herself and gave him a nod in return, slightly upset from last nights events, and Shane noticed. He chuckled briefly. 

"You still pissed 'bout last night?", he asked as he stood beside her and looked up at the sky to see what she was looking at. There was nothing present in the sky. There was no sound of planes nor helicopters, not like before. There were always planes flying over towards Atlanta. Now, it's quiet. 

"I don't like it when you speak for me, or take decisions for me", she stated bluntly and turned towards him. He sighed, pursing his lips before glancing at her. He turned fully, his hands on his hips and nodded. "I know, but you have to understand: you are impulsive. You don't see the danger in shit. That's how you always been, jumping into everything" he began to say. "I know men like the Dixons. Hell, I dealt with them everyday on the job: Some woman callin' that their guy is beating them, some dick startin' bar fights and all that shit. I love you too much to have you tell a man like that their brother was left behind. Hate me for it, but I don't regret it"

Blake lifted her chin and squinted her eyes, taking in his words. Taking a deep breath, she shook her head. "That better be the last time you do that, especially in front of people. You make me look like I can't handle myself. If you don't agree with something I do, tell me privately and I'll take your words into consideration", she said simply, meeting his gaze. She meant her words. As good his intentions are, she cannot tolerate people treating her like a kid. She can make her own decisions. Defying her power makes her look weak, and she cannot have that. She isn't weak. 

"Fine, I won't do it again", he agreed, mostly to prevent an argument to take place and because he saw her point. Just by those words, Blake let go of that anger. He has agreed to her terms. That is what she wanted and he gave it to her. Dragging his hand down his face, glancing around the area before his eyes landed on the Jeep with the water containers. "Water's running low. I'm gonna have to head down to the quarry to get some. Want to come, you could do something useful for a change?" he teased with a smile. Blake couldn't help but return it. 

"Alright, let's go", she nodded, dropping her hands to her sides. Shane began to lead the way to the jeep. He had already placed the water containers in the back, ready to go. Both of them got in the vehicle, Blake putting on her seatbelt. At the sight of that, Shane began to laugh. His head bowed and his chest moving up and down. 

"What?"

Shane shook his head before pointing at her seatbelt. "The world goes to shit and you still buckle up" he laughed before turning the key in the ignition, the engine rumbling. Blake rolled her eyes at his odd sense of humor. She rubbed her hands, ready to help get water for the group. Blake knows that she is not incredibly active in helping the group. Rather, she helps mostly her family or herself. There are a few that she has bonded with. Glenn is one of them. He is just fun to be around with. She has gotten close to Carol, which leads to the tension between Blake and Ed. She just has that urge to beat him down to the ground senseless. However, due to being a level-headed person, she doesn't. She just silently seethes, like a normal adult. 

"So, how you feelin'. I know that things have been difficult with Rick gone. The both of you being close an' all. Having him back must be amazing", Shane said as he drove, glancing at Blake. The road was not smooth. It was a bit bumpy, but nothing that they couldn't handle. 

Blake took notice that Shane did not include himself in the narrative. That he didn't share the same enthusiasm as her or Rick's family. Looking at the steering wheel, he had a tight grip on it. Her eyes trailed to his face to see a smile upon it, but it did not reach his eyes. Blake knows that Shane loves Rick like a brother, but he must not be fond of her brother being with Lori. Blake remembered the expression on his face when Rick appeared. He was shocked, taken back by the sight before him. She pursed her lips, turning her head to look forward. "You need to be more subtle. Anyone will be able to tell that you aren't happy with Rick's return", she said instead. 

The smile that was on Shane's face fell. He cleared his throat, taken back by Blake's words. Rubbing his chin, he turned his head to the brunette. "What makes you think that I ain't happy about his return?", he asked. He didn't deny it. He is asking about what made her think that. So, she was right. 

"Look, whatever you have with Lori is your business. All I am going to say is that Rick is back, and he went through hell to come back to us: his wife, kid, you and me. Either come clean about what took place or let it die, because if it continues, he will figure it out. So, you'll have to decide what's more important: a relationship with Lori or losing your best friend", Blake stated bluntly as she looked at Shane. His jaw was clenched. His hold on the steering wheel was tight, she can see the veins popping out of his arm from the rage he felt. However, she did not feel threatened. Blake knows that he wouldn't hurt her. He is not the type to do that. Plus, she thinks that she can take him, if he were to go crazy. People do crazy things to the people they love. She has seen plenty of that at the hospital. 

The thing is that Blake felt the need to say it. She was not going to out them. That is not her place nor her style. No matter what happens, she will be on her brother's side. What Lori and Shane have , or had, is a decision between two adults. So, they should be the ones to determine whether it shall end. It is a simple decision. He just has to see what is worth more: a friendship or a relationship. She just hopes that he does the right decision where no one ends up hurt. 

The entire trip was silent. She did not mind it. She did what she needed to do, collect water. Blake cannot say the same for Shane. He avoided her gaze, and he kept flexing his hands. He is angry. Biting her tongue, she said nothing of it. Whatever happens is on him. For now, she will focus on being present. She finally has Rick in her life again. Things will be better now. Blake knows that she is not the only one that is happy about it. Carl must be just as ecstatic as her. She needs to hang more with her nephew. Like Rick, the kid is able to make her happy by just being present. 

It was not long before they arrived back to camp with the water. Blake did not bother striking a conversation, neither did Shane. They simply did not interact. 

"Water's here, y'all", Shane called out as he began to get out of the car. Blake unbuckled her seatbelt and got out as well. "Yeah, don't forget to boil it before using it", Blake added, slipping her hands into the back pockets of her jeans as she walked away from the vehicle. Her attention shifted to see Rick and Lori talking. They seemed to be upset. It was interesting. However, she did not have the time to approach them before a scream erupted from the trees. 

"Mom!"

Blake did not hesitate to run to the woods. Her hand went to her waist, where she kept a knife, and pulled it out. The children calling out to their parents kept going. Carl calling out for his parents and Sophia calling out for her mom. Being the first one to reach Carl, Blake kneeled down and hugged him. He is safe. He hugged her tight, not wanting to let go, but they did once Lori reached them. 

"Go with your mom. Imma head out with your dad", Blake said as she pulled away, placing a hand on his cheek for him to look at her. Carl simply nodded before his aunt stood up and walked where everyone else did. Glancing behind her, Sophia was hugging her mother and Carl did the same with his own. Seeing the kids safe, she continued on her way to reach everyone else. The men ahead slowed down at the sight before them. They began to circle the creature that has placed everyone on their toes. 

There on the ground was a walker feeding on a deer. It chomped on the animal's neck, pulling the meat and holding it up for the monster to eat. It was interesting, in a scientific perspective. Technically, it's dead. There should be no need for it to feed, much less to walk around. That would require energy. Unless, they receive that energy from eating the living. Blake stood back, observing it. Her eyes soon landed on the two arrows on its hind. She recognized them. They are Daryl's. Where was he? He could not be dead. He does not seem like the type to die easily. She was brought out of her thoughts when the men began to gang up on the one walker. She furrowed her brows, seeing that everyone was practically getting a turn to beat the walker. One of them could have killed it by striking it at the head, yet they just hit it. That was until Dale chopped off its head. There doesn't seem to be a need for her knife now, so she placed it back on her holster. 

The men backed off the body as soon as the head rolled down. All of them seemed winded from beating the walker. 

"It's the first one we've had up here. They never come this far up the mountain", Dale panted as they looked at one another. 

"Well, they're running out of food in the city, that's what", Jim stated.

"And the helluva of an alarm from yesterday" Blake added and Rick instantly turned around, barely taking notice of her presence. His attention on her did not last long. Some rustling began to take place. Everyone turned to the noise, waiting for another member of the dead. The men raised their weapons, ready to fight, and Blake placed her hand on her knife. She should have brought her gun, but the noise would not help very much. Nonetheless, she should have her gun on her. The tension simply rose. The anticipation of another walker was there. It was silent. No one talked as they waited to see who was making that rustling. The mystery ended when a familiar man appeared. A hint of a smile appeared on Blake's face, glad to see that Daryl was not dead. Everyone lowered their weapons once they saw who it was.

"Son of a bitch", Daryl sighed as he saw the mawled deer on the ground. "That's my deer", He stalked towared the dead animal, taking in the sight of it. "Look at it, all gnawed by this..." he began as his attention shifted to the dead walker, "Filthy, disease-bearing, motherless poxy bastard!". He kicked the body on the floor as he spoke, taking his anger upon it. It was reasonable. The walker got Daryl's hunt.

"Calm down, son, that's not helping" 

At the sound of Dale speaking, Daryl headed towards him. "What do you know old man? Why don't you take that stupid hat and go back to "On Golden Pond"?",Daryl snapped before he returned his attention to the deer. "I've been tracking this deer for miles", he pulled out the arrows from the carcass of the deer as he spoke. "Gonna drag it back to camp, cook us up some venison. What do you think, do you think we can cut around this chewed up part right here?" Daryl asked as he looked up at the people around, gesturing down the deer's neck. 

"I wouldn't risk it. It's hands were all in there, digging around and biting. Whatever this shit is, we can't risk getting sick" Blake said and Daryl's attention went to her immediately. The man sighed, clearly disappointed that he wasted his time on a deer that was not going to be eaten. No one was going to argue about not eating the deer. Whatever disease this was, there is no true knowing of how it spreads. There is no information on it, whether it dies when intense heat is applied or not. There is no knowing how it fully functions. All there is to know is the aftermath, someone dying and coming back as one of those things. 

"That's a damn shame. I got some squirrel -- about a dozen or so. That'll have to do" Daryl said, running his hand down the string where he had the dead squirrels. "Thanks" Blake said, crossing her arms on her chest. Daryl simply nodded at her words. A growl was heard, and everyone could see the decapitated head was still moving. Blake crouched down, getting a look of it. It still lives even when it is not connected to the body. So, the brain is working -- somewhat. The senses of the dead still work, the seeing and the listening part. She is not sure if they are able to taste, but she knows that they do not feel physical pain or emotions. The entire brain is compromised. What makes a person human is gone. She would not even consider this as walker being in a primitive state, because they have to sense of survival other than feeding. That is all they are, hungry beings. All of these thoughts crossed her mind as she observed the head with curiosity. 

"Come on, people. What the hell?", Daryl said as he aimed his crossbow at the head before pulling the trigger. The arrow landed in its eye, pausing the movements that it was doing. With a sigh, Blake stood up. This curiosity is killing her. She just wanted to know everything of this disease. There are so many questions left unanswered. It was jut driving her crazy. She always tries not to think of it, to focus on other things that are in control. Rick glanced back at Blake, asking silently that this is the man he has to talk to. The doctor just gave him a smile and mouthed, "good luck". She is not getting involved. She had a feeling that this will get out of hand. She walked backwards for a moment before turning around to head back to camp. She could hear Daryl calling out for Merle. It is sad. She knows the feeling of losing a brother, so this will be hard for Daryl. 

Blake was soon meet by a small body hugging her. She huffed at the sudden impact before looking down to see a head with brown hair. Carl must have been worried. "Hey there, kid. All is good. That walker is dead, no need to worry", Blake rubbed his back as he lifted his head to look up at her. "You sure?", he asked, scared that there would be more of the dead coming to camp. Blake nodded, " Yeah, none of those ugly bastards are coming" she confirmed, her gaze straying to her brother-- seeing the interaction between him and Daryl. Like she predicted, it did not go well. Daryl threw off the dead squirrels and pulled out a knife. Shane managed to get behind Daryl and placed him in a choke-hold. She made sure that Carl did not see the exchange. It would be worrisome to see his dad in a physical fight after being back for a day. 

The fight was brief, so she let go of Carl and he turned around to see the scene once there seemed to be some control. Rick and T-Dog were giving Daryl the details of Merle's predicament. That Merle was locked on a roof, no way for the dead to reach him. That the older Dixon is also cuffed to some pipes on the roof, beneath the Georgia sun. Things were tensed. It rose when Lori said that Rick was going to help get the man back. 

"Go with your mom. I think you can cheer her up" Blake patted her nephew on the shoulder lightly, sending him to Lori's way before heading to Rick's path. She stood in front of him, preventing him from going elsewhere. 

"What's the plan? You and Daryl heading to the city alone?" Blake retorted, crossing her arms against her chest as she faced her brother. He only stood a few inches taller, about two or three. She did not want him to go back to the city, but there would be no way to change Rick's mind. He is stubborn. Rick placed his hands on his waist and glanced around, seeing that everyone had their attention elsewhere. "I'm planning on taking a few others. I don't know the city well enough" he stated as he gaze landed on Glenn, and Blake followed his gaze. Glenn does know the city the best. Sure, she lived in Atlanta, but Blake spent most of her time at the hospital than anywhere else. Taking Glenn would be a safe bet to get Merle back. 

"Do you want me to come? Merle has been there for a day. He must be dehydrated and burnt from the sun. There could be other issues that I can help in" Blake offered, stepping closer. Rick simply shook his head, "No, you need to stay here. You are the only doctor here. You can check him when we come back". The woman pursed her lips, but she understood. She stepped aside, letting him pass to go to his tent. 

"You better not die. I can't have you dying a second time" was all she said before heading to her tent. She was not going to see him go. It hurts. Worrying is exhausting. It literally weighs her down. She won't see him go, but she will be there to greet him. Right now, she just needs to find ways to entertain herself. Perhaps, she may as well help the women with laundry, as much as she may not want to. She just needs to do something that will take her mind off of things. 


	5. You Need to Calm Down

Blake thought that being in the apocalypse would have been a bit more interesting. 

Things have been boring and tranquil. The most interesting thing that has happened is Rick's arrival to the camp. That should be a good thing, that things are calm. There has not been a direct problem on the camp. People seem somewhat happy and relax where they were. However, she can't accept that this is all they will do. They cannot just stay here the entire time and live like this. She can't live like this. Her entire purpose is to work, to heal. There is nothing here to help. Medical supplies are slim to nothing. These conditions are just not desired at all. There has to be more to this, more to living at the quarry away from the city. Living in fear will accomplish nothing. Being here accomplishes nothing. 

Rick and the rest of the guys have left already. She would have loved to be part of the team, being useful. Instead, she is just like the rest of the people at the camp that just survive day in and day out without a true purpose. There is no true purpose here. Her ambition is placed on a stop. How is she to achieve what she wants with no resources. She can't be a doctor with a needle and some alcohol. There needs to be more. Blake had just realized that there is no true purpose for her. She was blinded by grief to see it fully. She loves her family, but she is not sure if just staying in this place longer will benefit her. It is maddening. They have been here for more than a month, almost two, and what have they accomplished? Nothing. There is nothing else than surviving the dead. There is no desire nor simple luxuries, such as sleeping in 'til noon and waking up to watch a film. There is not much to enjoy at the moment. 

Giving up is not something she plans to do. She will just have to find ways to continue moving forward with this, suggesting to go elsewhere that will be better. 

Sitting in her tent, writing down five things that she is grateful for. This mental exercise is good to keep her moral up. Having those five things in mind help to be positive, because things can be worst.

1\. I am grateful that Rick is alive

2\. I am grateful that I am alive. 

3\. I am grateful that everyone is okay. 

4\. I am grateful that ...

Blake bit her lip as she tried to think of what else she could write about. What else is there? Being alive is the only thing that comes to mind. Is she happy? No. She thought that with Rick's arrival things would be different, that all this melancholy would disappear replaced with glee. She was wrong. Blake can see that now. Depending upon a person for her happiness is a mistake. There has to be something else that can help ease this sorrow and frustration. She stops herself from remembering the past, because it will do nothing than bring pain and make her feel helpless. She is not helpless. She is anything but that. There has to be more. There cannot only be the dead. There has to be some sort of military zone with civilians, or some sort of research facility that is searching for a cure. There just has to be more than this.

Running her hand through her hair, she closed the little notebook she had before putting it away in her backpack, along with the pen. It's frustrating not finding anything else to help her keep going. However, she is not going to think about it now. She is going to go wash her clothes. She has few clean clothes. So, might as well do that to keep herself busy. Washing her clothes is better than having a mental breakdown. With a sigh, she put her hair in a high ponytail and began to gather her dirty laundry in a bag. Making sure she had her knife on her, she began to make her way out. 

The sun continued to beat down upon them. This is hell. Having to go through this heat and not knowing whether there is something out there worth living. Huffing, she made her way to where the rest of the women were. Perhaps socializing will get her out of this sour mood. Maybe she will laugh again. Whatever, she just needs to do what she needs to do. 

She could hear Shane and Carl in the distance. Looking up, she could see them splashing around in the water. The sight of it brought the young woman a smile on her face. Seeing Carl having fun and being so carefree is good, she envied that innocence. Nonetheless, she continued making her way down to where the ladies were. It was Andrea that noticed her first, a smile grew on the blonde woman's face. "Well, look who decided to join us", she mused, and Blake rolled her eyes playfully at her words. The ladies turned their attention to the newcomer.

"I thought that you don't do laundry?", Amy questioned. Blake reached the edge of the water, dropping her bag and kneeling down to do her laundry. Without looking at Amy, the woman in question answered the question. " I don't do other's laundry. When I do my own, I like to do it alone"

"What made you change your mind?", Carol asked, turning to Blake. Blake began to take out her clothes from the bag. Taking a deep breath, she turned to Carol. Blake couldn't explain this feeling. She doesn't really like people, not really getting involved with them. Sure, she can treat them, but they end up leaving once she is finished. She doesn't get involved emotionally. However, she couldn't help but want to protect the older woman. The vulnerability she shows and her meek character is what really makes her want to keep her safe, as well as Sofia. She cannot get attached, especially not now, but it seems that she cannot help it. So, she is just going to sit there and try to keep that feeling to the minimum. 

"Got bored. I thought it might be good to socialize and get some sun" 

Andrea couldn't help but chuckle at that. A few others joined along , and Carol simply smiled at Blake's words. Everyone was working on the laundry, their own and the others. Blake noticed that it was only the women out here doing the laundry. 

"So, what were you guys talking about before I tagged along, something interesting?", Blake asked as she looked around at the group of women. That seemed to bring them something good to talk about for the mean time. "Well, just things we miss before all of this happened", the younger Harrison sister said. Blake hummed at the response, and she began to ask that question to herself.

She missed her old life. She would always run around the hospital. Sure, she did not have much of a personal life, but she had a purpose. Her entire focus was on her studies and continuing working under attendings. She was always busy doing something. It did not matter if she was at the ER treating simple head lacerations, she was useful. From working in the ER to the OR, she was always working. Perhaps, that is what she missed the most. This feeling of being useful, of having a purpose, is what she missed the most. Music is a close second. There would always be something playing in the background, from Taylor Swift to Queen to Nat King Cole, and it was so comforting. Now, there is no music. Everything is silent. Dead. The life that once was there was beginning to vanish. 

"I miss the hospital. I was always busy doing something.", Blake sighed as she applied pressure the the area she scrubbed. She could still hear the boys vaguely in the background. The splashing of water also in the background. She kept her attention down, looking at her hands as she washed her clothing. 

"Ah, you were a workaholic. Must be different not being able to run around saving people", Amy's voice was light and had no ill will. She did not realize how hard it is not being able to do what she has been trained to do, especially in the beginning. When everything was falling apart and those things kept getting closer and closer, she has lived through it, but that did not mean she didn't see others not being able to. Not having the necessary materials to save a life is hard. The guilt sits there, no matter what she does. 

She tuned out some of the conversation that took place, her mind going off to those first few days of this hell. Seeing all those bodies in the road. The screaming of women and children, crying for some sort of savior. Men being ripped apart by the undead, blood decorating the ground she walked on. The sound of shooting and the bodies dropping to the ground, lifeless. She can practically still hear the shooting.

Bang ! 

Bang !

Bang !

"I miss my vibrator"

Blake blinked and was brought back to reality, not expecting to hear that sentence. She turned immediately to the other women, trying to figure out who said that. Unaware, a smile began to grow on her face as the sound of laughter filled her ears. Biting her lip, she tried not to smile or laugh. Blake coughed, turning her head elsewhere. She really needs to get this done. 

"Me too" a gentle voice soon followed. 

This time, Blake could not help but laugh. The rest of the ladies roared up in laughter. They all seemed to have a smile on their face. A moment of joy seeped through the usual morbid tone that is life. It did not need to be said that all of them wished that the moment could last longer. That the happiness that they felt would not end. However, all good things must come to an end. At the sound of the man that did nothing to contribute to the group, Blake's face instantly fell. The smile on her face vanished, only to be replaced by a scowl. 

"What's so funny?", Ed asked as he approached the group of women. Everyone had quieted down, some still had smiles on their face. Rather than answering, she clenched her jaw and worked on her clothing. She moved on to another shirt, beginning to clean it. As much as she hates it, Shane is right: she is impulsive. It is only when things get tense does she act. She will lot lose her temper over some douche. So, she shall try to keep her focus on her task. 

"Just swappin' war stories, Ed", Andrea retorted, glancing back to see the man smoking.

"Yeah"

Ed kept making his way towards them, observing the way that the women worked. The majority did not even bother glancing behind them to look at him. They simply continued their work. Andrea was just the one that really did not appreciate how close the man was. 

"Problem, Ed?"

"Nothin' that concerns you. And you ought to focus on your work. This ain't no comedy club", Ed stated. Blake bit her tongue, not wanting to start something that will lead with someone getting punched in the face. 

No one said anything. 

The women hoped that Ed would leave after a moment. Unfortunately, he remained there-- watching them. It was unnerving all of them. Blake tried not to think of it, but she still remained tense. That scowl on her face remained there. He had stayed there far longer than he should. He just keeps looking at them, his gaze wandering to the other women, but it always came back to his wife. The scent of smoke filled her senses. She hates it. It was really beginning to piss her off. Her throat began to hurt by how much she was holding back. Taking deep breaths, she tried to calm down. She simply continued washing her clothes roughly. 

"Ed, tell you what... you don't like how your laundry is done, you are welcome to pitch in and do it yourself. Here", Andrea walked up to Ed and threw the wet shirt at the man. Instantly, Ed threw it back at her in a hostile manner. At the sound of that, Blake stood up and watched the scene. If things escalate, she will have to step in. She really hoped that she didn't. 

"It ain't my job, missy"

"Andrea, don't" Carol begged, but Andrea was just getting started. 

"What is your job, Ed? Sitting on your ass smoking cigarettes?" Andrea snapped, ready for whatever is to happen. Blake clenched her fists, seeing the look in Ed's eyes. He is getting angry. Her breathing slowed down, gotten heavy as she began to get ready mentally to step in. "Well, it sure as hell ain't listening to some uppity smart-mouthed bitch. Tell you what... come on. Let's go", he ordered Carol, and she stood up silently to go to him. However, Andrea was not going to back down. 

"I don't think she needs to go anywhere with you, Ed"

The tension kept rising. Blake walked up to them, standing less than a foot behind Andrea to help with the mess. Fuck, she could just feel her heart pound against her chest. She did not shift when Ed's gaze shifted towards her. She simply glared at him. He was the first one to look away, directing his attention to his wife. 

"And I say it's none of your business. Come on now. You heard me" 

"Carol", Blake said, holding her hand back to prevent the woman from advancing. Carol shook her head, and continued to make her way towards him. Andrea placed a hand on her shoulder, trying to change her mind. "Andrea, please. It doesn't matter", Carol said lowly as she looked at the blonde. 

Blake scoffed and stepped close to her, "It does fucking matter, because you do not deserve it". Carol met the doctor's eyes, and Blake could see her fear and pain from them. Yeah, she was not going to let this happen. 

"Hey, don't think I won't knock both of you on your asses just 'cause you're some college-educated cooze, " he directed that to Andrea before his gaze turned to the brunette, " or some damn doctor. All right? Now you come on now or you gonna regret it later". 

"So she can show up with fresh bruises later, Ed?" Jacqui stepped up, looking at the man with such disdain, and she was not the only one. Instead of showing remorse or shame, Ed simply laughed. That is what really made Blake see red. He laughed at the fact he hurt his wife. The noise talking began to fade in the background, and all she could see was Ed. That stupid look on his face. The way his eyes looked so dark, so dull. Blake did not even think before she acted. Her body acted before her brain. She saw how her fist met his face. Pain erupted through her hand, but it was not enough to make her stop. Ed's head snapped to the side. None of them expected Blake to act like that, not that soon. 

"Blake!", Carol exclaimed, but the woman did not hear her. Her attention was on the angry man before her. He turned his head back to Blake. There was blood on his lip, and the look on his face was deadly. That is when fear struck in, but she did not back down. He raised his hand to strike Blake before someone yanked him back. Shane had ran to the women as soon as his eyes found the woman that is practically his sister. Seeing how she did not even think to deck the guy scared him. Ed did not have a problem hitting his wife, so why would it be a problem to hit another woman?

"Oh my god", Andrea gasped as she got Blake's hand to check her hand. A nice shade of pink began to settle on her hand, but Blake's attention was on Shane. He pulled Ed away from them, and the douch tried to get away from Shane's grasp. 

"I'm fine", Blake said as she saw how Shane began to beat Ed's face in. She began to calm down at the sight of Shane just pounding his fist into Ed's face. He just began to lose control. In any other situation, she would have stopped Shane from beating anyone, but she didn't. She just watched while the rest of the women cried out for him to stop. After a minute or so, he did. He stopped. His chest rose and fell, the anger simmering down once he saw everyone's expression. His gaze settled on Blake, and she just gave him a small smile. He nodded, and stepped back and let Carol run to her husband. 

"You okay?", Shane asked as he approached Blake. She nodded. Her arms were crossed against her chest. Shane held out his hand, wanting to see hers. Sighing, she held out her hand for him to check. He grabbed her hand gently to see if she injured it. 

"Like I said before, I'm fine. It's not the first time I punched someone"

"I know, but you haven't punched anyone in years. Could 'ave broken it", he retorted as he touched the area. Her face scrunched up in discomfort. Good, no broken bones. That would be a stupid reason to break a finger. Now that she was fine, he let go of her hand and looked at her with a displeased look on her face. Here we go. 

"What the hell was that? You can't punch a guy that is bigger than you. What if I wasn't here? Huh? You need to think before you act! You're a damn doctor, use that brain of yours ! You're smart, so don't be fucking stupid by fighting someone like him", Shane scolded her, and she rolled her eyes. Now, she laughed at this. That anger returning as she listened to Shane lecture her. Shaking her head, "You do not get to lecture me, so calm your tits. You just pounded your fist into his skull!"

"I had to! All of that wouldn't have happened if you had not gotten involved!"

"Oh, so it's my fault? That is fucking rich. You can go around fucking people up with no repercussion, but I am getting lectured for it. Nah, fuck off. I am going to do my damn laundry, and you can go fuck yourself", she stepped back to turn around to finish what she started, but Shane grabbed her arm. 

"Don't walk away from me. Get it through your stubborn head that I am trying to protect you. A second later, and your ass would have been on the ground. You're no damn superhero that can take a punch or kick ass, you are you. Understand that: you are not invincible", he angrily said in a hush manner for her to hear. Now that the situation was handled, the ladies attention diverted to the heated discussion between the local doctor and cop. 

She did not even look at him. Her upper lip curled upwards, and her eyes getting teary from all the anger. "And you are not my brother, so stop pretending that you are", Blake yanked her arm from his grasp, and stalked off to wash her clothes. It seems that she can't do anything right. Trying to do the right thing only ends up with people getting pissed at her. Both parties walked off in opposite directions to cool off. Slowly, the women -- except Carol -- returned to their previous places. A silence settled down between all of them for a while, before one of them decided to speak.

"He's wrong, y'know"

Blake turned to see it was Amy talking. 

"You did what you had to do. He looked ready to lose it", Amy added, wanting to reassure Blake that she was not in the wrong. However, Blake's expression did not change. It was not that she punched Ed that had her like this. No, she has been dying to do that for the last month or so. Shane's words just kept going through her head. It really bothers her that that's how he viewed her: weak. She is not weak. 

"Yeah, instead I did"


	6. So it Goes...

Hate is a strong word. Blake has never really hated anyone. No, that would require too much energy and time. She never hated that guy that would intentionally fuck up her schedule at the hospital, or that classmate that had tried to have her forget the day of an exam and confuse her for another. Hell, she didn't even hate her ex boyfriends, even when they deserve to be hated for all the shit they have done. Holding grudges and hating really takes a lot of energy. 

However, Ed Peletier really is worth hating. The way he laughed at the accusations of beating his wife. It just triggered her. Something in her snapped. She can't remember what was being said a few seconds before she threw the first punch. She just saw red and reacted. Blake admits that she didn't really think things through. She didn't know what was going to happen as soon as she threw the punch. Sure, some praised her for it, and others have condemned her for it. She also got an earful from Lori, almost the same thing as Shane. Blabbing about how it was a stupid thing, that she wouldn't be able to handle herself against man. It was just a lot, and Blake tuned it out. Rather than arguing, she just walked back to her tent. Blake did not need to hear the same shit from her sister-in-law. She will hit the next person that says anything of what happened. 

She is tired, tired of everything. 

Blake didn't care that Jim was digging his way out of here. She wished she could do that, to dig her way out of here. Everything is just frustrating. There is no progress here. Everything is just...difficult. It doesn't help that everyone is just being a bit hostile, that is how Blake viewed it. Everyone is against her. Perhaps that may be the paranoia kicking in. Sleep has not come easy. Her thoughts have mostly been around her family and herself. Some people may view Blake as selfish. She likes the good things in life, well liked. She would treat herself with a new Carrier watch or a YSL Coat. She learned that if you are good at something, do not do it for free. So, favors were not something she would do, not without getting something back. Things have changed. Now, all that she wants to do is make sure that her family is safe and well. 

Shane may be acting like a dick, always underestimating her and holding her back, but she sees why. He cares. She wouldn't say that she wished he cared less. If he did, she may be dead now. That man is like a brother to her, always there when she needed him. Her last words to him began to set in and guilt swelled in her chest. Unfortunately, her pride was far stronger than her guilt. She was not going to apologize for something she believes, and she believes that Ed deserved it. 

Blake laid on her sleeping bag, looking up at the ceiling of her tent. The blue of the fabric blocked off the harsh sunlight, and it made the atmosphere more tranquil. She had her hands on her stomach, drumming her thumbs to the beat of a song. 

" I'm still standing after all this time. Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind " She sang lowly. A small smile began to grow on her face as the rest of the song played in her head. Elton John could always put her in a good mood. Taking a deep breath, she stood up from the ground and got herself situated. She is wearing a pair of jeans and a black tank top with some running shoes. Putting her hair up in a pony tail, she headed outside to see what was going on. Instantly, she was met with the heat. Slowly, she was getting used to it. Being in a hospital made her accustomed to the cold air, and heat is not something she is fond of. Nonetheless, she will adapt. 

Looking around, she saw Lori and Carol with their kids. With a smile on her face, she approached them. Glancing to the right, she saw that Jim was tied to a tree. A scoff filled with disbelief escaped her. "What the fuck?", she muttered as she got closer. 

The kids instantly saw her. 

"Aunt Blake!" "Hi, Blake!", They said as she was near them. Both had a smile on their face. The mother's looked up to see her as well. Blake was not sure how Carol will react upon seeing her. After all, it is her fault that Ed is currently in his tent with a busted face. She threw the first punch, and Shane stepped in because of her. She relaxed once she saw a soft smile on Carol's face. Relief was all she felt currently. 

"Hey, kiddos. What's happenin' ?", She asked as she crouched down to the table to see what they were doing. It was easy to see that they were doing math. It was multiplying fractions and dividing them. "Math! Why do we even need to learn this?", Carl answered before turning to his mother. Lori pressed her lips together to a tight smile before pointing down to one of the questions. "You never know when you will be back in school. Can't have you slacking behind", She answered, however Blake sensed some hesitation. No one knows when everything will be back to normal. However, she did not want to lose hope, or take it from her son.

"Your mom is right. Math is really important", Blake nodded before smirking. "I also don't like math, but don't tell your moms", she added in a hushed tone. The kids smiled at her words, giggling. Looking up at the women, she saw that they were not surprised by her words. Carol shook her head in amusement. The sound of footsteps reached her ears, two sets. Turning to her right. she saw Shane carrying a bucket of water and Dale not so far behind. Shane met her gaze briefly. Neither exchanged words. He simply headed towards Jim. Licking her lips, she stood up straight and gave the kids a final smile. "I am going to see if Andrea needs help with the fish", she said before walking off to put herself to work. 

Walking towards the RV, she saw the Harrison sisters cleaning the fish. Both were sitting on some lawn chairs, leaned forward cleaning the fish. Plastering a relaxed smile on her face, she approached them. Blake did not need to talk for them to notice her. The sisters looked up to see the local doctor. 

"Hey, mind if I help?", Blake asked as she got near them. A smile reached their faces , and Andrea shook her head and gestured to the chair beside her. "Not at all, take a seat"

Blake sat down and reached forward to get a wooden cutting board and a knife. Between Blake and Andrea was a bucket with all the fish guts. Blake observed the girls, seeing how they cut and bled the fish first. As soon as she saw how it was done, she began to follow along. Her gaze was down, working on the fish. It felt familiar to cut something, even if it was just a fish. She has not cut something in so long. She remembered how she would participate in a simple appendectomy, cutting and working on saving a life. Her attending, Dr. Gomez, would watch her with pride as Blake worked. All those memories just pained her. She would never be able to go back to that. She would never see her friends and colleagues again. They were like a second family to her, with how often she saw them. Hell, she saw them more than her actual family, but she would not change anything. Rick is alive. Shane, Lori and Carl are alive, and that is all that matters. 

"So, how you doing? Y'know, after everything?", Andrea asked as she looked at the brunette beside her. 

Oh, I am going through a midlife crisis. I can't exactly kill myself, because that would just be baggage on my family. Although, I do not want to continue living if life will continue to be this way. I am practically useless, so I don't really think I have a place here, Blake thought to herself when she heard Andrea's question. Turning to the blonde, she gave her a small smile. 

"I'm fine. Hand is a bit sore, but it's no big deal"

"I can get you some ice. I don't think Dale would mind", Amy offered, ready to get up from her seat to go to the RV to check the refrigerator. Blake shook her head in protest. "Nah, it's fine. Nothing I can't handle. Thank you".

The conversation did not last long. It wasn't because either woman did not want to talk. No, they were quite comfortable to work in silence. The three of them just cleaned the fish. There was finally something Blake can do. She feels like she is not doing anything to help the group. Blake knows that there are people in the group that do not do anything, but they felt alright with it. She doesn't . She needs to do something, anything to show that she is not worthless. If that meant cleaning fish, so be it. It was not that bad. She had to do worst in the ER. 

Blake just continued gutting the fish, completely focused on her task. Glancing mindlessly to her left, she saw the kids run towards them with a grin on their faces. Looking behind them was Shane walking behind them. Shit, Blake thought as she saw him. She really hoped that he was not going to talk to her. All of this has really given her more drama than before the dead rose and killed the living. Wasn't the point of there being an apocalypse is no drama? It is just supposed to be about survival, no dramatics. Unfortunately, it was not like that .

"Blake"

Containing a groan, she looked up to see Shane looking at her. Plastering a tight smile on her face, she lifted her chin as a way for him to continue speaking. Meanwhile, Carl and Sophia sat by the Harrison sisters to learn how to clean a fish. That did not mean that Andrea and Amy were not listening to the conversation that would take place. Sensing that, Shane tilted his head to the side -- signaling for them to speak privately. Sighing, she placed her stuff down on the ground before standing. 

Shane led them to the tree line, away from anyone to hear their conversation. Blake was not happy about this, but it was needed. Her arms were crossed against her chest as she waited for Shane to start talking. The man had his hands on his hips, taking a deep breath to gather his thoughts. He kept his eyes on her, trying to read anything off from her before he spoke.

"I'm sorry for the way I talked to ya"

Blake simply scoffed in amusement, shaking her head at his words. "You know I love you, and I get the shit you are trying to do, but I have already told you how to tell me when you don't like something I do. I don't regret punching Ed. I don't", she bit her lip. It may be better to get this over with than later. They had time to cool off, now it is time to make amends like grown adults. Things get heated and emotions run high. It is understandable. 

"I know. I know. I am just worried about you", he began as he took a step closer to her, " you don't think I notice how distant you are? I just- I just don't want to lose you. That stunt was stupid, and I can't help to think what would happen if you did that and I wasn't there. Or if you did something more dangerous. You are stupidly impulsive, and I just don't want to watch you fall because of it"

Her gaze soften slightly at his words. Turning her gaze elsewhere, so that she wouldn't look at him. Shane took that as a hint to approach her. He placed a hand on her arm, which made her look at him. Her gaze met his, she just looked at him for a moment. Rolling her eyes, she shoved him playfully and he chuckled. "I fuckin' hate you. You suck ass. I want to stay angry at you for talking to me like that, but ...then- then you pull this shit", she huffed as a slight smile grew on her face. He smiled widely at her before opening his arms to hug her. 

"Ugh, why are you hugging me, stupid?", she grimaced as he hugged her. He simply hugged her tightly, moving side to side to annoy her. She simply groaned at the action.

"because you love me", he retorted with a lopsided grin as he pulled away to look at her. She shook her head and pushed him away from her. He stepped back with that same grin on his face. Both parties felt relieved that the other wasn't angry at the other. Times are too difficult to be angry at someone, especially someone you love. It is best to resolve the problem and move forward. Holding a grudge would not help either of them. Pressing her lips together, she wondered whether she should say what she had in mind. 

"I am going to tell you something. This will be the last time I will say anything about it -", she began and Shane dropped his head back in a groan, already knowing what she was going to say. She simply smacked his arm in retaliation. "Lori does not love you. If she did, she would leave Rick to be with you. I know you are the type of guy to go all in a relationship, but I am telling you to not waste your time on her", she raised her hands in defense as she noticed that look of irritation on his face. She was not going to apologize for that. He needs to hear it, even if it hurts. He shook his head and ran his hand through his hair as he took in her words. 

"I know it sucks, but you need to accept it. The last thing that you are is stupid, so don't fall for the idea of being with her", she added -- dropping her arms from her chest. He sighed and nodded, "Fine, I'll try "

Things have gone back to normal. Shane and Blake had settled their differences. Both had let go of their anger, and focused on having each others back, like always. They could never truly stay angry at one another. The longest fight they had only lasted a week, however that was more severe than simply punching a guy. The rest of the group sensed that the two adults have made up. They gave each other smiles and gave each other silly looks, something to amuse themselves. It was not long before night had fallen. The stars were out and things have calmed down. Tensions were low to none. Everyone sat by the fire, eating the fish that Amy and Andrea had caught for the group. The sound of laughter filled the air. There was no frown in sight. All had a smile on their face as they laughed and dined. It was a good night for all.

Blake sat beside Carol, seeing that she was without Ed. It would be good to be beside the woman. They talked to one another, Sophia joining the conversation as well. 

"No, yeah! I was so sick on that trip. I ate some really bad chicken, and my friends still dragged me to the biggest ride in Six Flags. All of us sat in the front of the ride. I knew I was going to lose it once we began to go down. Damn, I wish I had a picture! It was sick!", Blake laughed as she remembered that trip in Texas with her med school friends. It was spring break, and one of them wanted to go to Texas. So all of them went to enjoy their time off. Finals were coming, and it be best to relax before getting hit with the stress of exams. It was an amazing trip. 

"Ew!", Sophia giggled as she listened to the story. Carol laughed along to the story,"And you still went on, even when you felt sick?"

"I was forced! My friend Mark bet that I wouldn't get on. That I was scared to get on. So, I went on, threw up, and got off with $100 dollars. It was worth it", Blake exclaimed proudly with a large grin on her face. She took a deep breath, realizing that would never happen. She will never be able to have a trip with her friends, or even see her friends. She will never see Mark's face when he lost the bet, the look of disgust when they got off the ride, or his smile when he handed her the money. It was all gone. She will never be able to go back to that. Blake sighed, her smile falling from her face when she came to that realization. However, her attention to Morales when he began to talk. 

"I've got to ask you, man. It's been driving me crazy", he said. Blake followed his gaze to see Dale. The older man looked relax, leaned back against his arm chair -- completely comfortable. 

"What?"

"That watch"

"What's wrong with my watch?"

"I see you every day, the same time, winding that thing like a village priest saying mass."

Everyone was invested in their conversation, curious as to why Dale does that. Morales was not the only one that noticed that action. Everyone has at least seen the old man do that. Blake has certainly seen it. Rather than thinking of the past, she let herself get distracted with this conversation.

"Time... it's important to keep track, isn't it? The days at least. Don't you think, Andrea? Back me up here. I like... I like what, um, a father said to son when he gave him a watch that had been handed down through generations. He said, "I give you the mausoleum of all hope and desire, which will fit your individual needs no better than it did mine or my father's before me; I give it to you not that you may remember time, but that you may forget it for a moment now and then and not spend all of your breath trying to conquer it."

Blake furrowed her brows and bit her tongue, it stuck out a bit as she did so. That sounded familiar. Where did she read that? It had to be Faulkner. That she knows, but what book? From what book did she read it from? Damn, it is going to keep bothering her. She bowed her head as she tried to think. She heard Dale say it was Faulkner, confirming her thoughts. She went through every book she has read of his in her mind: As I Lay Dying, Absolum, Absolum!, Sanctuary, Light in August, The Sound and The Fury. The Sound and The Fury! Her eyes widen once she recalled the book. 

"The Sound and The Fury! ", She clapped her hands, making the people around her jump at her exclamation. She looked around to see that eyes were now on her. Blake did not shy away, she raised her hands to gesture to Dale. "That's where the quote is from! Do you guys not know where that was from?", Blake questioned as she looked around to see confused looks. The only ones that were not surprised were Shane, Carl and Lori. They had a look on their face that showed they were not surprised by her outburst. Dale appreciated that someone got the reference. 

"Thank you!", Dale said, happy to see that someone knows Faulkner.

"You guys are so weird"

Laughter erupted from the group when Amy made that comment. Blake's jaw dropped feigning offence before laughing along to the group. 

Everything was so relaxing. People were eating and talking, finding some enjoyment in this hellish world. Their problems were forgotten for a slim moment. The thought of the dead stumbling through the world did not come to mind for either of them. No, all that there was to think of was how good this felt. How good it felt to laugh again and have a moment that wasn't laced with fear. For once, there was true peace and joy that they felt that nothing happened. There was no virus bringing the dead to the land of the living and killing. As good and weightless everyone felt, there is no rest for the wicked.

A scream broke the tranquil atmosphere. It was as if someone flipped the switch, and everything had changed. They were brought back to their dire reality. A walker had snuck in and had bitten Amy. More of the dead had managed to come near to the group. For trying to live their past lives, the present crept in and reminded them that their pasts are long gone.

Without thinking, Blake stood up and pulled out her gun from the back of her waistband. Glancing at Shane, he saw that he was defending her nephew and sister-in-law. Seeing them safe, she stood in front of Carol and Sophia. She didn't care for her person, but she did for that woman and child. Two innocent lives cannot die. That is what was going through her mind. She just began shooting. Bodies dropped, from both the dead and the living. She zoned out the gunshots, focusing mostly on her vision. The fire gave enough light to see the dead, but not enough to be able to aim properly. Nonetheless, she did her best at shooting. She had 17 rounds.

Bang ! ... 1

Bang ! ... 2

Bang ! ... 3 

Bang ! ... 4

She counted all the times she pulled the trigger. Blake glanced back occasionally to see that Carol and Sophia were right behind her before continuing to shoot. She was just focused on what was in front of her. She did not notice that one of the dead was creeping by her right. When she did, it was a bit too late. 

"Blake!" Carol cried, and Blake began to turn towards them before she was pushed to the ground by the weight of the dead. Her gun fell to the ground as she fell back. Her back met the ground. The pain of a rock hitting her low back was ignored. All she could focus on was on the dead bastard on top of her. Blake panicked, fear swelled up her chest. Instictively, she began to push against it. It was a corpse of a large man, clearly bigger than her. She tried to push him off, but she couldn't. She couldn't. He kept opening and closing his jaw. His teeth chattered as he did that. The noise so loud to her ears. The groans that escaped him. The scent of rotten flesh filled her nose, and she felt like throwing up. 

For a second, one second, she began to think if this was for the best. Was this how her life was going to end. After all, it would be a matter of time before she joined them. 

As soon as those thoughts came, an arrow pierced the walker's head. Blood spattered on her face upon impact. She did not notice when Rick's group had arrived from Atlanta. The body was pushed off of her, and she looked up to see a familiar face. 

Daryl held his hand out for her, and she accepted it gladly. She pulled herself up and looked around to see all the chaos that had taken place. She couldn't hear anything. All she could focus on was all the bodies on the ground. All the death that had taken place that very night. 

"Hey!"

Blake jumped at the sudden sound, but Daryl had been trying to get her attention for the last minute. Their gazes met, and he could see how afraid she was. 

"I'm-I'm fine", She forced a smile before patting him on the arm awkwardly. "Thanks, for...y'know", she nodded before wrapping her arms around herself. Daryl simply nodded at her words, not knowing what to say as well. 

"Blake!", she heard and turned around to be met by an embrace by Shane. She did not hesitate to hug him back. She could see over his shoulder Rick with his family, holding them close. "I'm fine", she repeated before she pulled away from the hug. Shane grimaced at the blood on her face, before he began to wipe the drops of crimson off her face. Blake just stood there as he cleaned her face, processing what could have happened not so long ago. 

Things are far from okay. 


End file.
